St Patty's Day!
by TheGirlOfManyObsessions
Summary: Just an idea that popped into my head on St. Patrick's day. OOC ExB. Oneshot. Please R&R!


**Happy belated St. Patrick's Day all!!!**

**I probably should have posted this earlier, but I just got the idea yesterday afternoon. It just popped into my head because of a St. Patrick's Day parade. I'll explain at the end of the story.**

**For now, enjoy!!**

**Disclaimer: Me- Shut up and taste the rainbow, loser! -Throws skittles in the Lucky Charms leprechaun-**

**Lucky- (with Irish accent) -What does that have to do with you not owning Twilight or any of its characters?!**

**Me- … Eat Lucky Charms, asshole! –Stuffs box of Lucky Charms down his pants and runs-**

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"Guys, do I _really_ have to go through with this?" I whined. Hey! You would too if you were forced into this situation!

"Yes, Bella! You have to wear it! Come on! It will be funny!" Rose shouted.

"I look like a slut!" I shouted back. Really, I did look like a whore.

"Bella…" I heard a low growl. "Don't make us come in there…" It was Alice. Figures.

I groaned and decided that I would never win a battle with the other two vampires outside the door. Putting on the tiny green shorts and a white tank top with green letters that said "I'm Irish…" with green kiss marks all over it, though I did still look like a trashy hooker, it did contrast nicely with my pale, marble skin.

I stepped out and saw that Alice and Rosalie were dressed similar for the St. Patrick's Day parade in Port Angeles the entire Cullen family would be attending. Not only were we attending, we were in it, since they were of Irish decent, despite the fact that we are all vampires; hence why I was dressed like this.

As soon as the girls saw me, they yanked me back it and painted me up with dark green eye shadow and green sparkles. They also decided to add a big green bow tie and small leprechaun hat. When I looked in the mirror, I growled. I looked like a 15 dollar Irish prostitute! But Alice and Rose told me a lot of women dressed like this. And I have seen some of the parades on the news and I have to admit, they weren't far off the mark with this.

They also thought it would be cool if I dyed my hair green, but that's where I drew the line.

Eventually we finished and we walked downstairs. As we reached the top step, I looked down and saw Edward's eyes bulge, along with Jasper and Emmett, though they were looking mostly at their women.

I caught an evil glint in Edward's eyes as we came downstairs and I smirked. This outfit wouldn't last for too long when we came back to the house. I wasn't sure if it would even make it that far.

Renesmee was spending St. Patrick's Day with Jacob, who was not allowing her to attend said affair, for there would be far too many scantily clad women today, unfortunately, me being one of them, than I would want my baby girl to see. I was going to hide some chocolate for Renesmee so she'd think that the leprechaun came the night before, but that was before Edward introduced me to the real leprechaun that gave gold out every St. Patrick's Day. Who knew? Also, he wasn't as mean as people say he is sometimes, though he did seem quite flirtatious with me… Anyway, back to the point.

Suddenly, Edward let a low growl form in the back of his throat, and I noticed the heated glare he was sending towards Alice and Rosalie.

"She is not wearing that in public!" I have to admit, I was a bit offended by that, but he was just trying to protect me. Although I did get a bit angry, because now that I'm one of them, no one can hurt me anymore, I didn't argue. He once said during my first hunt that it was still hard for him to get used to me not being so fragile. "It goes against the grain," he once said.

"Edward! Stop complaining! We don't have time for that; the parade starts in thirty minutes!" Alice shouted. Edward just huffed and continued to glare at the other two women, but kept giving me side glances.

"Alright, laddies, let's get a'goin!" Emmett called, trying, and failing, to do an Irish accent.

Rose thankfully slapped him on the back of the head before heading out the door. We all piled into Emmett's Jeep while Carlisle and Esme, who looked much more presentable, climbed into Carlisle's Mercedes. When we got there, we noticed there were quite a few animals there. Thankfully we went hunting last night, though that didn't stop the burn from the scent of the animal's blood, and especially the humans. But I kept my cool; I was getting much better at this.

We walked around until we found our very lavish float, courtesy of Alice, with the words _Cullen Clan_ spray painted in bright green and orange on a big banner. Our float had a small house almost the exact replica of the Cullen household, and the rest was covered with green, orange, and white. I saw Jasper grab a big bag of candy and beads that we would throw out.

About 10 minutes later, a man with a big megaphone said it was almost time to get ready for the parade. I took a bunch of beads from the bag and put them around my neck to pass out to people and a big bag of candy for the kids.

Soon, the first float, a big leprechaun balloon, started to move and then the rest followed suit. We were about in the middle of the parade. Eventually we were next so I started to walk, along with Carlisle and Edward, whose arm stayed securely wrapped around my waist, on the right side of the float and Jasper and Alice on the left, with Emmett driving and Esme on the float with Rosalie.

Nothing really happened for a long time. I handed out candy, threw beads when people shouted "BEADS!!!" That is, until Edward and Carlisle left to go hand out some to little kids, because, soon after, we passed up a group of drunken frat boys. I could smell the alcohol and Monster on them, and let me tell you, alcohol and Monster do not mix, vampire or not.

They looked my way and when they did, they let out a bunch of wolf calls that would have made blush as a human, but now, it just made me mad. But before I could do anything, Edward rushed over and let out a low, menacing growl that even a drunk man would identify, because it certainly got these goons to back off.

But I was still pissed.

"Edward, I love you but what the hell is your problem!?" I silently yelled, but quiet enough as to only he could hear with our vampire hearing. "I could have taken care of that situation myself!"

"Bella, love, did you see they way they were eyeing you like a piece of meat? I will not let them treat my wife like that." He said calmly as we started walking again.

I breathed in, the air whistling through my lungs in a funny way that I still wasn't completely used to, trying to calm myself down.

"Okay, I'm sorry for snapping. But next time that happens, _please_ let me take care of it myself?"

He looked at me for a long time, but he eventually sighed, giving in. Suddenly, though, he grabbed my face and kissed me. I could hear cheers from the audience, but they soon died down. This usually happened when I was kissing Edward. Everything around me just disappears. But all too soon, it ended.

He pulled away and smiled his crooked smile.

"Just letting them know that they may look, but may not touch. That's my job." He winked and kissed my forehead again before walking off. I looked around to see a bunch of jealous, angry girls, a bunch of jealous, but women who wore smiles and looked happy for me, and a bunch of jealous men. It was pretty amusing.

Eventually we started walking again, Edward occasionally grabbing my hand or putting his arm around my waist, and of course, kissing me. A while later though, we passed up a bar and I knew what was coming. I gave Edward a look and he knew what that meant. He gave me a pained look before he pecked my cheek and joined Carlisle. I walked over and started throwing candy and beads until I passed up another group of frat boys, thought they didn't smell quite as strong of alcohol and Monster as the last group, so these guys were probably conscious.

They saw me and the whistles and cat calls began. I heard Edward growl so I lifted up my shield and told him _"Edward, behave!"_ And he calmed down a bit, but I could tell he was still paranoid.

I walked a bit closer to the group when one of the men shouted "Hey honey, where have you been all my life!?" which was followed by laughter, more cat calls, and shouts in agreement. I decided now to try and show Edward I can defend for myself.

I picked up a string of beads and yelled "Hiding from you!" before launching the beads straight into his face, actually knocking him backwards due to the force I put behind it. I might have put a _bit_ too much force behind it, but no one seemed to notice; they were all laughing.

Edward soon came over, holding his side due to his laughter. I noticed my entire family was doing the same thing, along with almost have the people in the area. I looked at Edward smugly before kissing him, letting those assholes know that I was not available. I also decided to brag a little and flashed my wedding ring off, making all the girls and guys jealous again.

"See, I told you." I said to Edward as we piled back in the car.

"Bella, that was awesome! I swear, I had to stop the jeep, I was laughing so hard!" Emmett yelled and gave me a high-five.

"You did show me, love." He suddenly had a smirk in his eyes telling me something else, and I was quite pleased with what I saw.

As soon as the Jeep stopped, everyone, and I mean _everyone_ suddenly charged out of the vehicle and ran to their respected rooms while me and Edward ran even faster to our cottage…

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**So, what'd you think? I'm just telling you this right now... This was probably my MOST POORLY WRITTEN STORY EVER! It took me not even 24 hours to write and this idea just popped into my head.**

**By the way, yes, Cullen is Irish for those of you who didn't know. I saw it in a video once, and I think I read it somewhere so… yeah… Lol!**

**R&R PLEASE!!**

**-EdwardXBella4eva-**


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